Anthony S. Anselmo

The story thus far...

The story of the Answering Machine started way back in 1998, no wait it started before that.

I was attended the Columbus College of Art and Design and slowly developing my select group of friends. My group of friends took on the personalities of being like the Muppets; goofy, innocent, honest, and wacky! Dorks all around! Our interests ranged from everything from Transformers, Star Trek, Star Wars, Weird Al, G.I. Joe etc...

Over the years I started collecting various bits of my friends being goofy and wacky on my answering machine/voice mail system.

And then a small wave file found on the what was now called the 'Internet'. It was George from Seinfield singing the theme to "The Greatest American Hero" on his answering machine. Around this time I was listening to a TV theme CD and the idea of using the Knight Rider theme popped into my head.

So I recorded myself singing, "I’m not home, I’m not home, Anthony isn’t home" to the theme of Knight Rider. The response was fantastic between all of my friends. Soon everyone was calling leaving his or her own goofy message, either singing back or coming up with a weird, strange response.

After Knight Rider came other TV show theme songs, and as time went by I did some of my favorite tunes from my favorite bands, or whatever I felt could match my voice and the words somewhere along the lines of "I’m not home, not here. etc..."

I then decided to put all of this onto a CD for a Christmas Present.

The CD not only included my actual Answering Machine Intros and my friends’ goofy and wacky responses, but a dance mix with everyone’s messages mixed to the beat.

The first CD was distributed and all my friends loved it. Soon after everyone started calling to see what new message I had on my machine every other week, and within two months I had enough material for Volume 2.

I included some class projects, some flubs and various other bits on Volume 2. Before I knew it my friends has starting passing Volume 2 around and people were being introduced to me and would say 'Oh you’re that guy with the Answering Machine Messages!'.

Volumes 3,4, and 5 came shortly afterwards and then the collection of all the dance mixes formed the 'No Case Required' album. Recently I just finished my latest mix of music and messages called 'No... Really." Each recording has been met with enthusasim a few roll of the eyes, but very much appreciative fun.

The Music

Various members of Progressive Rock have done solo albums, but their success ranges from very little to platinum hit. Being a fan and dedicated to have everything and anything touched by their hands or spawned from them, decided to unleash this vast knowledge on other people, in the hopes of being able to educate people that there is more out there in just 'Top 40'.

The collection of songs varies from all my favorite artists to just songs that would work well with a theme. Since I don’t make any money from my CD’s and don’t plan on giving them to anyone but my friends, (and since they are mostly parodies) I do not feel I am in copyright violation. However is any particular artist feels I am desecrating their work, they may contact me.

Volume 1

Only Seventeen – This was a song that appeared on Tony Bank’s Strictly Inc solo album. The song I used was a remix of the original song. This was the first test to see if mixing of my friend’s voice mail clips would work in a song. It turned out pretty successful and was the foundation of the songs that followed.

Volume 2

The Dealer – This is a Steve Hackett tune that I was listening to in my car and when I was thinking of what to use for my new voice mail message, the words just came out of the tune. But I felt since no one had ever heard the song before it would suit better as an actual song on the album, then a voice mail intro.

Darktown Riot – This was another Steve Hackett song. When my friends and I were looking for another song to mix to for Volume 2, I plopped in the Darktown CD and when this goofy wacky track came on we both went 'That’s it!'

Transformers Decepticons Mix – I have no idea who did this. I found it on Napster and thought the rhythm as extremely well done and decided to use it. This was the first time I tried to repeat my friend’s sayings in a song to create a rhythm.

Volume 3

Thank You For Being a Friend – As I was searching for long lost songs from my youth on Napster, this came up as I was also watching the Golden Girls. I though the idea of my friends ridiculing me as Andrew Gold sang 'Thank You' is pretty entertaining.

Old Medley – This was an attempt to mix all of the voice mail intros from Volumes 1 and 2 together into a dance mix.

Around the World in 80 Presecs – This was originally going to be the opener for Volume 3. As I was thinking of songs I could use I remembered that Phil Collins's tape ended with this song and the flubs from the videos were over it. I decided it would also fit well for use with my friends.

Volume 4

Land of Confusion Remix – Land of Confusion is one of our favorite songs and videos of all time. I was listening to the remix and remember a TV special used the same style of combining clips of Genesis going on stage before a concert with the remix. I decided to try it here as well and it came out rocking! I also threw in my own background vocals for fun combining the best of my short singing and my mixing.

Fire and Rain – A tribute to long lost friend.

Submarine – Once again I was in my car when the cheesy idea of singing along came to my head. I love how the vocals slowly come in and increase in time with the music. A old Genesis B-Side that gives the atmosphere of underwater.

Volume 5

Castlevania 4 - This was a song I got off the internet and I have no clue where it comes from except with a minor mention to the Nintendo game. There was originally going to be words to the mix, but they ended up being lame, so we decided to just stick with a typical message mix.

Endless Dream - One of my favorite Yes songs, this song if fifteen minutes long and I always wanted to try and see if I could match enough clips from the machine cd's to fill an elongated minute space. It came out really well and is probably my masterpeice of the series.

Volume 5.5 - The Unplugged Live Album

This was the a little side project for myself. I always wanted to hear Tony Banks solo music performed live acoustically, but unfortunately Tony never achieved much commercial success. Around this time I was also listening to Steve Hackett's "There are many sides to the Night" CD and thought it would be cool if I could take Tony's and Steve's Music and mix it together with audience clapping and make it sound real! I included my own little intros between the songs to add to the feel of myself playing live and the entire CD came out extremely well.

Volume 6 - No Case Required

The combination of the remixes from all the Answering Machine Albums.

Volume 7 - No... But Really

Full Rolling Stone Article here.

The Latest and Greatest.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q. Whats with the "Gump" thing? Isn't that Forest Gump?

A. The Gump nickname was started by my roommate in college. For some strange reason he started calling me Gump and walked around saying "Private Gump" all day. When he left, the new roommate took over and proceeded to make that my OFFICIAL name. Before I knew it the whole college was calling me Gump and thus most of my old college friends to this day continue to call me Gump. My personality itself reflect Forest Gump only in the way that I am innocent, honest, and sometimes unaware of the joke.